Home is far more than a dwelling, it’s our refuge and sanctuary. “Refuge” keeps the dark aspects of the world out. “Sanctuary” lets the best of earthly delights in. Your home needs to be a refuge and sanctuary both, in order to be healthy and happy.
Actually, home needs to be a refuge before it can be a sanctuary. That’s because the joys of “earthly” life cannot occupy the same space at the same time as fears of worldly life. Where there is one, the other must depart. Indeed, where there is worry, doubt, and fear, life cannot also be sweet, beautiful, and lovely. Accordingly, the “art of living” in the 21st century is to minimize the fears of the world in order to maximize the joys of earthly life.
Minimizing the fears of the world is not the same as waiting until all the cares and woes of the world are eliminated before delving into the joys and pleasures of earthly life. That’s because there’s never an end to the travails of the world. Nor is there ever an end to ordinary and daily problems, errands and tasks, chores and responsibilities, competition for time, live-work-play, and other demands that can occupy all of your time and attention. If you wait until they’re all satisfied, “as soon as,” you’ll never taste the joys and pleasures of a home sanctuary.
The secret is to embrace all the joys and pleasures of a home sanctuary first, and then deal with the headaches of life later, along with the cares and woes of the world. As it happens, “life and the “world” goes on as before, unaffected by putting sweetness, beauty, and love first. Nor do the challenges of the world seem as difficult or momentous as before.
It takes a Champion of Refuge and Sanctuary to strike this balance. Living in a maze of competing interests, it won’t happen by itself. A Champion is needed to lead the way.
Importantly, striking this balance also provides tangible contributions to our health and happiness. It provides genuine rest that Mother Nature uses to release natural chemicals that heal and enhance our bodies.
Indeed, there are physical, as well as emotional and psychological benefits for a Champion to establish a balance between the travails of outside world and the joys and pleasures of earthly life.
Although we seldom think about it, we actually lead four lives if not more. They includes Earthly life, Worldly life, Spiritual life, and a Work life. (Others pursue a Love life, and young people lead a School life.) It’s important for a Champion of Refuge and Sanctuary to set out “protocols” that weave all these lives together, complementing one another.
“Earthly” life revolves around meaningful connections, fulfilling relationships, love, intimacy, marriage, children, friends, family, home, Nature, sunshine, beautiful vistas, flowers, trees, wildlife, good food, drink, holidays, humor, laughter, celebrations, travel, vacations, sports, exercise, art, literature, music, hobbies, spirituality, and all the other engagements that feed the soul.
“Worldly” life revolves around the mechanics of survival; money for food, shelter, clothing. It also includes a dog-eat-dog thought system that results in greed and ambition, folly and illusions, war, cruelty, nationalism, crime, hunger, racism, homeless, environment destruction, religious strife, intolerance, persecution, politics, governments, villains, enemies, economics, and other reasons for worry, doubt, and fear. It’s this Worldly life that the News brings into our living rooms every day, suggesting that our happiness depends on how these issues work out.
“Spiritual” Life: Many aim to live according to their “good book.” If not a “good book” per se, many are guided by altruistic beliefs, doing-good, being kind and generous, a good parent, neighbor and citizen, supporting “right,” combating “wrong,” helping the old and weak, feeding the hungry, sheltering the tired, similar good deeds. It may not reflect a particular religion, but it’s certainly a “spiritual” light.
“Working” Life: Most people spend a good deal of their waking day in earning a living, some happily, others not so much. After all, this is an economic world where money is the medium of exchange. Everyone needs money for self preservation, living expenses for the family, and a nest egg for the future. The trick is to be in it but not of it. In other words, honor it but don’t let it sallow your Earthy Life.
These four primary lives weave in and out and between one another. Unless, there’s a Champion to sort through all of these competing interests, they’re bound to bump heads. As a result, people won’t get the genuine rest they need to be healthy and happy.
Rest
Everyone knows they need a sufficient amount of rest in order to restore their energy and enthusiasm. Unfortunately, not only do they think that inactivity leads to this rest, but they let themselves be tormented by the drumbeat of the outside world, and the demands of “work.” As a result, they don’t get enough mental rest, the cornerstone of zest and vigor.
To the surprise of many, physical rest doesn’t come from inactivity but from active engagement in pastimes, activities, and recreations. No coincidence they also happen to be “fun,” because Mother Nature uses them to release Dopamine and Endorphins, natural chemicals that repair and refresh our bodies and minds.
Some of these pastimes, activities, and recreations happen away from home because they need a larger area, but most happen everyday at home. Engage in them everyday, and you’ll get enough mental rest to be healthy and happy.
Entertaining: Mankind are social animals. Most of us like nothing better than socializing with family and friends, “breaking bread.” Cocktail parties and backyard barbecues aren’t for the food and drink per se, but for the interacting with fascinating people.
Family Time: Spending time with the children is especially enjoy-able. Whether it’s helping with homework, reading together, playing games, doing chores, day trips, going fishing, or whatever, there’s no other “entertainment” to match it.
Spouse/Partner: Reconnecting with your romantic/life partner can go a long way to putting a bounce in your step. Putting aside the tasks and errands and other housekeeping, tucking the children in, tender moments at home can really provide a bolt of energy.
Hobbies usually involve working with your hands, taking your mind off other things. Examples include gardening, woodworking, needle work, arts and crafts, culinary arts, car repair and restoration, refinishing antiques, fly tying, computer skills, tinkering in the garage, home repair, and similar activities. Fishing might seem like a lot of doing nothing, but perhaps that’s the point. Hobbies absorb your mind, and let it wander free.
Games: Playing games, as distinct from athletic contests, require mental and physical dexterity. They can range from board games to card games and puzzle games. video games. Hide and Seek. Crossword puzzles are entertaining and challenging. Table tennis takes takes more hand-eye coordination than a mental challenge, i.e. fun competition.
Volleyball, badminton, and similar games are an activity and a pastime both. There’s nothing at stake, after all. Usually played with family members, especially the children, is a bonus. It’s a win all the way around.
Reading, Writing, Arithmetic: Exercising our brain, learning and contributing ideas, gives us far more pleasure than solving a work problem, for instance. It’s a life-long pursuit, in fact, never tiring. Reading novels, for instance, is new and fresh every time.
Music: Music is the language of one’s soul. It reflects one’s culture and the land where they live. It can open and transport people to another realm. They never tire of hearing music, or playing it. It refreshes the mind like very few other pastimes.
Exercise: It’s fun to exercise the body. It’s also good to get a cardiovascular workout, pushing all that blood through the body and brain. Some exercise is solo pursuits on a mat, yoga stretching, and calisthenics for instance. Weight lifting and resistance machines are also good. Do your part and Mother Nature will the rest.
Pets: “Man’s Best Friend:” Indeed, the unconditional love we get from our pets, especially dogs and cats, makes up feel better about life in general and ourselves in particular. It’s a special treat to look after their well-being, especially when they forgive our stupid mistakes. Concerns of the world fade when giving and getting love from your pets. Not least, people who have pets are healthier and live longer too.
Touching the Timeless: Music, bird watching, Nature walks, spiritual practices, gardening, lounging in the back yard, and any number of similar pastimes lifts us above the daily grind, and refreshes our minds and spirit.
The list of possible pastimes, quiet enjoyments, and recreations are only limited by one’s imagination. Not only are they fun but they make a meaningful contribution to being healthy and happy.
Importantly, they all happen in our home sanctuary.
The outside world can offer many opportunities and advantages, but mental rest isn’t one of them. Only in a home sanctuary can people find the mental rest they need to be healthy and happy.
In addition, the more you actively engage in pastimes, activities and recreations, the more Mother Nature releases natural chemicals that refreshes your body and mind, i.e. true rest.
That’s why its called “re-creation.”
Health
As noted, some activities, pastimes, and recreations are done away from home, e.g. tennis courts, hiking, skiing, sporting events and the like, but most are done everyday at home. In addition to being fun, Mother Nature uses them to release natural chemicals that rejuvenate our strength and energy, keep us hale and hearty, and improve our attitude.
Dopamine is released when doing pleasurable activities, a neurotransmitter. It affects the brain, in other words. According to WebMD, your body makes it, and your nervous system uses it to send messages between nerve cells. That’s why it’s sometimes called a chemical messenger.
Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure. Also a big part of our unique human ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting. Pastimes and recreations release dopamine. Your body spreads it along four major pathways in the brain. Like most other systems in the body, you don’t notice it (or maybe even know about it) until there’s not enough of it. Simply put, dopamine is high octane for your mind.
Endorphins are released by recreations, and exercise. Endorphins interact with receptors in your brain that trigger a positive feeling in the body, the “euphoric” feeling that follows a run or workout for example. That feeling can be accompanied by modulation of appetite, release of sex hormones, and enhancement of the immune response, along with a more positive and energizing outlook on life.
A good attitude is important in restoring the mental and physical rest needed to deal with a complicated and stressful world, boosted by natural chemicals provided by Mother Nature. There’s even another set of organic chemicals that restore the body and mind in sleep.
Naturally, there are athletic facilities and outdoor areas, such as tennis courts and ski areas, that would also induce these natural chemicals, but it’s in your home sanctuary they happen almost every day.
Happiness
Another virtue of a home sanctuary is being happy. That’s because it fosters interpersonal connections and deep relationships, which study after study have shown to be a common denominator among happy people.
Indeed, when the dark aspects of the world have been kept out, when home is a true sanctuary, when you’re free to pursue the joys and pleasures of an earthly life, when you participate in pastimes, activities, and recreations that result in mental rest, and when Mother Nature uses them to release dopamine and endorphins, it seems like “life is good” and we’re happier for it. Happy people are naturally more open to personal connections and deep relationships.
Hence, why people in remote villages can be exceedingly happy, with barely any possessions.
Interpersonal connections include friends, acquaintances, and chance encounters in one’s daily life. It includes visiting with people every day, for long or short periods. It might be ad hoc encounters with acquaintances, at the dog park for instance. It could be kind words with a stranger at the grocery store, crossing paths with colleagues. Simply put, casual interactions with people on a daily basis is a common trait among happy people, “emotional” nourishment.” Especially as they age and their old friends move away.
It could also be group settings with good friends, coworkers, golf and tennis partners, study groups, book clubs, civic organizations, religious affiliations, and other groups, which may get-together weekly or even daily.
Relationships: A connection that happens on a regular basis and goes on for a longer time becomes a relationship, especially if it’s an important involvement. In addition to parents, siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces, in-laws, co-workers, colleagues, and others, “Romantic” relationships are perhaps the most significant; partners; girlfriends, boyfriends, and lovers who become spouses, resulting in children of your own. A family of your own is the apex of relationships. Being happier is another reason why married people live longer than those who aren’t
Simply put, when life is good, people enjoying sweetness, beauty, and love, they don’t have their guard up. Rather, they welcome new people into their lives, including ad hoc encounters and real relationships. Interacting with others on a regular basis is in-deed a hallmark among happy people.
Building and maintain interpersonal connections and long-term relationships start at home, when it’s a sanctuary for the delights of earthly life.
A Last Word on Sanctuary
In addition to robbing you of the joys and pleasures, delights, of earthly life when home becomes a mere extension of the outside world, you’re also deprived of the genuine rest needed to be healthy and happy.
Happily, when it’s a refuge. when the dark aspects of the “world” are restricted, your home resumes its natural role as a sanctuary for sweetness, beauty, and love. Once again, peace and tranquility are enjoyed by one and all.
This contest is never completely won, however. That’s because the world is relentless in its drive to penetrate every part of your home life, aiming to put your personal life at its disposal. It’s a perpetual battle that must be fought every week, every month, every year.
That’s why a Champion of Refuge and Sanctuary must constantly re-calibrate the balance or equilibrium between a home sanctuary and the outside world. Hanging in the balance are interpersonal connections, long-term relationships, love, marriage, intimacy, children, friends, family, home, Nature, flowers, trees, wildlife, good food, drink, holidays, humor, laughter, celebrations, travel, vacations, sports, exercise, art, literature, music, hobbies, spirituality, and a host of other re-creations that feed the soul.
No one ever promised that it would be easy, yet the truth is always simple!
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